A familiar home scenario with Elliot.
Elliot: Can I go to the playground?
Me: NO! [my response without skipping a heartbeat]
Elliot: Whhhyyy...
Me: You think you have a lot of time is it? Have you done your abacus homework, have you learn your spelling? You just want to play play play all the time. You cannot go on like this, you are going to P1 you know??? You have alot of things to catch up, or you are going to suffer next year!
I have 1001 reasons to not let him go to the playground. I'm extra strict with Elliot when it comes to academic as he's slow in understanding concepts, I never spare the rod on him because HE'S GOING P1 next year. I see him as below average and he needs to pull up his socks and grow up fast.
But what I didn't realise at that point of time was, I had done enough damage unknowingly to his self esteem, creativity and childhood. All demolished at such a young age.
Yes I'm guilty of this.
Being an Asian mom, I get paranoid over the littlest things about my kids. Always pictured myself as the cool mom when I was married without kids.
But you know, expectations vs reality!
Looking at my parenting style, I see myself being dominating and always expecting my children to know certain skill set/ common sense which I thought, should all come naturally and wouldn't require coaching at all! Basic things like drawing a straight line with a ruler, blowing nose, using the sharpener etc.
I often overwrite their requests and choices if they are not in line with mine. Because, I'm their mother, I have the foresight, I can make better decisions, I have their best interests, and I make sure they don't 走冤枉路. As parents, we try to stay one step ahead of everything our kids are going to run into. The problem is, life doesn't work that way.
Yup, it's time to let go. I may be doing more harm than good to them in the long run. 因为以后的路 他们得自己走
They may end up becoming indecisive people with poor self confidence and had to rely on people's affirmation all the time. Because according to their mommy, whatever ideas they could come up with, is always not the best.
Time to reflect and learn to give them the green light, to take the back seat and see how things go, be more encouraging and to let them take on more responsibilities.
Won't hurt to go for a quick playground ya?
