It's been a year since you're gone. Today, I felt the burden to pen this down as it was dwelling heavily in my heart for the past 365 days and I need an outlet for it.
Everything is still vivid in my mind.
I remember the day when I first broke the news to my mother, I was 17 and I wish to convert to Christianity. Being born and raised in a devoted Buddhist family, I was so worried that she might be mad with my decision. To my surprise, her reaction was really cool. She told me all religions are the same and wants us to do good, she's fine as long I do not cross the line to try to preach and convert her.
Ever since we received news about your illness years ago, I prayed so hard for your recovery and salvation. You were such a brave and independent individual, always putting others before yourself. You are a fighter and you took up the role to care for Grandma even when you weren't feeling well. All of us love you so dearly.
During the years when you were sick, I've mustered a great deal of courage to want to share the gospel to you, Aunt Julia. However I chickened out every time as it is kind of a taboo in our family. Plenty of what-ifs raced through my mind and I couldn't bring myself to say a word, though I've practised a million times at home. I was so afraid this might caused a strain in our relationship, which was so precious to me.
There was one time back during Christmas 2016, I asked you out for afternoon tea and it was that day you finally agree to join us for our church evangelistic event. I thank Ah Bee too, for coming along because it meant a lot to Aunt Julia to have you as a companion on that day. I recalled being so nervous and prayed to God to open your heart.
That Christmas had been extra meaningful to me. I wrote a letter to you, asking if you would like to accept Jesus Christ as your personal saviour. You told me you were not ready, as Granny would be unhappy and you are also responsible for the daily prayer rituals for Grandpa. I felt privileged that you trusted me enough to share with me, your thoughts and hesitations that were holding you back, and I respect that. I could understand because I was once in this same plight as you.
Nevertheless, I believe God works in miraculous ways. During the early months of 2017, my MIL felt a calling to share the gospel to you and we all made a trip together to Bishan in mid March. You brought out a bag of toys for the children and told Leah how much you love hearing her sing the Rainbow song (Caihong).
Granny was taking a nap in her room as we had a casual chat about your chemo treatments and the side effects. And just as my MIL attempted to share the gospel, you stopped her.
You broke into a smile and said, "Aiya, no need to tell me about the gospel anymore. I know it is good to believe in Jesus but I cannot attend church because Granny will be angry, and I also need to pray to Gong Gong."
My MIL was able to help you cast all your worries aside. She shared a testimony about her uncle who received Christ at sick bed. "Aunt Julia, you don't have to attend church every Sunday or tell the whole world in order to follow Jesus. All you need to do is to open up your heart and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If you are not comfortable to declare, it's totally fine because this is between you and God."
I saw your face lit up, "I want to follow Jesus." You said.
With your eyes closed and hands interlocked, you recited with us, the confession prayer and ended it with a loud AMEN.
You cannot imagine the gladness I had in my heart. There is nothing I want more in the world than this. Our dear Aunt Julia, finally chose to put her own interest ahead of others.
Always missing you,
Cindy
Everything is still vivid in my mind.
I remember the day when I first broke the news to my mother, I was 17 and I wish to convert to Christianity. Being born and raised in a devoted Buddhist family, I was so worried that she might be mad with my decision. To my surprise, her reaction was really cool. She told me all religions are the same and wants us to do good, she's fine as long I do not cross the line to try to preach and convert her.
Ever since we received news about your illness years ago, I prayed so hard for your recovery and salvation. You were such a brave and independent individual, always putting others before yourself. You are a fighter and you took up the role to care for Grandma even when you weren't feeling well. All of us love you so dearly.
During the years when you were sick, I've mustered a great deal of courage to want to share the gospel to you, Aunt Julia. However I chickened out every time as it is kind of a taboo in our family. Plenty of what-ifs raced through my mind and I couldn't bring myself to say a word, though I've practised a million times at home. I was so afraid this might caused a strain in our relationship, which was so precious to me.
There was one time back during Christmas 2016, I asked you out for afternoon tea and it was that day you finally agree to join us for our church evangelistic event. I thank Ah Bee too, for coming along because it meant a lot to Aunt Julia to have you as a companion on that day. I recalled being so nervous and prayed to God to open your heart.
That Christmas had been extra meaningful to me. I wrote a letter to you, asking if you would like to accept Jesus Christ as your personal saviour. You told me you were not ready, as Granny would be unhappy and you are also responsible for the daily prayer rituals for Grandpa. I felt privileged that you trusted me enough to share with me, your thoughts and hesitations that were holding you back, and I respect that. I could understand because I was once in this same plight as you.
Nevertheless, I believe God works in miraculous ways. During the early months of 2017, my MIL felt a calling to share the gospel to you and we all made a trip together to Bishan in mid March. You brought out a bag of toys for the children and told Leah how much you love hearing her sing the Rainbow song (Caihong).
Granny was taking a nap in her room as we had a casual chat about your chemo treatments and the side effects. And just as my MIL attempted to share the gospel, you stopped her.
You broke into a smile and said, "Aiya, no need to tell me about the gospel anymore. I know it is good to believe in Jesus but I cannot attend church because Granny will be angry, and I also need to pray to Gong Gong."
My MIL was able to help you cast all your worries aside. She shared a testimony about her uncle who received Christ at sick bed. "Aunt Julia, you don't have to attend church every Sunday or tell the whole world in order to follow Jesus. All you need to do is to open up your heart and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If you are not comfortable to declare, it's totally fine because this is between you and God."
I saw your face lit up, "I want to follow Jesus." You said.
With your eyes closed and hands interlocked, you recited with us, the confession prayer and ended it with a loud AMEN.
You cannot imagine the gladness I had in my heart. There is nothing I want more in the world than this. Our dear Aunt Julia, finally chose to put her own interest ahead of others.
Always missing you,
Cindy
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