Went for my morning jog earlier and felt so emotional when I started having flashbacks of yesterday's worship and sermon. I felt God has spoken to me through His message, on dealing with shame and guilt.
“[Zacchaeus] was too short … [but] when Jesus got to the tree, he looked up …”Luke 19: 3, 5 (NIV)
Luke 19 records that when Jesus passed this spot, he looked up and noticed Zacchaeus. Can you imagine how Zacchaeus’ heart started pounding at that moment? Jesus was looking at him – this small, despised, insignificant man.
Why did Jesus stop at that tree and look at him? Because he knew that’s exactly where Zacchaeus was.
God knows exactly where you are too. He knew where you were an hour ago and he knows where you will be tomorrow. You may feel like you’re up a tree right now in your life. God knows where you are. You may feel like you’re out on a limb; Jesus knows. You may feel all alone, but Jesus stops and notices. You are not forgotten; you are not alone.
No tear has ever been hidden from him. No hurtful word said to you has ever passed that he missed. No abuse has ever occurred that he didn’t see and grieve with you. He sees it all.
This song was on my mind during our dearest Aunt Julia's hospitalisation and I felt the lyrics even more when the congregation sang it yesterday and I started to tear. Thank you God for your love and grace.
To be honest, the past few days have been awfully painful. I woke up feeling like an empty shell, and tears would simply flow down most unexpectedly. I cried when I was making milk for Leah, when I was walking the kids to school, and even when I'm putting food in my mouth. I shrugged off the comments at the kindergarten about my swollen eyes with reasons like lack of sleep.
Many times, I find myself replaying conversations and decisions in my mind, asking myself if I should have done things differently. I can't seem to feel my real feelings too. I see my kids playing and laughing away but I was so numbed with my emotion to even feel their happiness. I lay on the bed and fell asleep a few times due to excessive crying under the pillow. Maybe, it's not my privilege to be happy anymore.
Things have been smooth sailing all my life 没有过什么大波折 so I don't know how to cope with all these sudden sadness. I hate my current state and I know I need to draw myself out of this depression. Life needs to go on and this is unacceptable. I'm also glad to have my dear family to support and cheer me on. The encouragement texts I've received from my dear cousins, sorry I didn't reply to all, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, meant so much to me. To my MIL, who is the most understanding and my hubby for always being there for me. [I've tortured him with lots of crying.] Thanks dear.
This time we checked in to Grand Diamond Suites Hotel, right next to the Platinum Fashion mall.
We booked their newly renovated Luxury Suite.
Nice!!!
GW is very satisfied with the toilet.
Yes, he's very particular when it comes to toilets and it's always his priority and concern when picking hotels.
He will be like: toilet 美不美?
What a view from the bath tub.
会不会被偷看到ah?
Having our first meal in Bangkok.
Dinner at Coffee bean by Dao.
We are such routine guys, we always go back to the same places for meals. And after browsing through the whole menu for a good 10 minutes, we ordered the same dishes we always do.
This curse is hard to break.
Their food never fails.
We shared shrimp padthai, green curry with prata and minced meat & shrimp rolls.
We shopped for a bit, bought some stuff for our dear kids [miss them so much!] then rested our feet at a cafe.
Mr Jones orphanage cafe because routine guys.
Our wefie :)
Chamomile tea and chocolate lava cake.
The night ended with loads of street food packed and enjoyed at our hotel room...
