Movie day: Venom

Our Saturday weekend was spent watching Venom, which Elliot has been pestering us to take him ever since he caught the movie trailer weeks ago. After that we went home for some Math revision, and GW tabao satay for dinner! The kids then had a wild time at the void deck playground. 

Kids being kids, just a simple day could bring so much joy to them. I wish they never grow up [err, ok I mean not too quickly] because I just can't bear to. I love how close our bond is, and how they are confessing their love to me a million times a day.

Sadly, I'm guilty for not being the A* parent that I wish I was. I've committed countless parenting mistakes through the years. I look back and regretted for the lack of patience and encouragement towards my children.

I push my firstborn like crazy to achieve academically, we do alot of revision work at home on daily basis, to the extend we forgo play time/ rest time/ bed time when deemed necessary. I lose my temper, and put him down with hurtful words whenever he don't understand the same shit I've explained to him for umpteen times. It's so pek chek. Are you even paying attention boy? On some days, I got so angry and used the cane on him then we ended up crying together. 

I believe all of you must be thinking I'm a siao laobu. But as his mother, I felt it was my responsibilty to put in the extra effort for my boy. On the back of my mind, I'm worried he couldn't cope or keep up with others. It's not easy being Elliot. He's been judged for being slow all his life, be it learning to walk/ speak/ write/ read. I need to help him and make sure he builds a strong foundation from P1.

It just hurts so much when he's not on the same page. And the sad fact that he needs to work his head off, not to top the class, but to be a student with average grades. 

From time to time, he would come home with a "almost fail" paper and told me he had already tried his best. I find it hard to hide my disappointment. To be honest, it's not even a difficult paper. We had worked so hard for a paper full of careless mistakes. As I was grieving over the "wasted marks", in my heart I was like, "How could you?" I don't know why, but it just affects me so badly. 

But I'm thankful I've sorted out my thoughts recently. I'm a happier person now, really.

"If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid." Albert Einstein

I would be so heartbroken if Elliot thinks like that fish. He's too precious for that!!!

So now, I want to focus on giving support to my children, help them to learn at their own pace with lesser expectations and anger, and shower them with truck loads of encouragement.